I thought I would give it a go, so on November 14, I went to the Wait Wait website and found a "Be on the show" link (Click here to try it yourself). Figuring that due to NPR's massive popularity amongst the social elite, I would be competing with hundreds of thousands, well, thousands, okay, maybe dozens of other potential contestants, I thought it would serve me well to try and stick out. In the vein of the show, I tried to include some humor in my message, so I sent the following:
Two weeks later, on Wednesday, November 28, I received a phone call while at work from Emily Ecton, one of the show's producers. She started off by asking me a bit about myself; standard questions like, "Where do you work? What do you do for fun?", the kind of stuff to make sure I can carry a conversation and be understood, and also allow the host and guests to research for jokes. She then told me that they have a couple of openings for the next night and said I could choose between playing The Listener Limerick Challenge and if I recall correctly Bluff the Listener.
Hello Wait Wait, I would love to play one of the games, or have one of your guests play for me. I'm a relatively new listener to your show, but I've been listening in general for about 30 years. The only thing I've ever won is a Dr. Pepper Huffy bicycle from K-Mart; and I think it's about due time I won something else, like Carl's voice on my answering machine.
My phone number is (309)XXX-XXXX.
Love your show!
Bluff the Listener is a game where the three weekly celebrity guests tell stories, two of them made up and one of them true, and if you guess the true story, you win. That can be pretty tough. The Listener Limerick Challenge is a game where Carl Kasell reads you three limericks (a 5 line poem a la "Man from Nantucket") with the last word removed, and you have to guess the missing word 2 out of 3 times to win. I have never missed a limerick listening at home, so I opted for that one. Emily told me that I would need to have a land line phone connection and be available from like 7:00-9:00. So I gave her my parents' phone number (as I don't have a land line), thanked her, and it was all set.
As soon as I hung up the phone, I called my wife, whose response was, "Seriously?! Awesome! What can you win?" After I told her, "Carl Kasell on my voice mail," she responded with a rather unenthusiastic, "oh." Then I messaged several friends to share my excitement, most of them responding, "What's Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me?" I was super excited, as were the people who had heard of the show, and the next 24 hours seemed to drag.
So the next night, I sat at my parents' house waiting for the phone to ring. The first call was a telemarketer, calling to do a phone survey.
"Is now a good time to take a survey?"
"No, actually it's not. I'm waiting for a call from NPR. I'm going to be on a game show."
"What?"
"I need to keep the line clear; I'm going to be on Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me! on NPR."
"When would be a good time to call back?"
"I don't know. I don't live here."
As I sat waiting, I nervously drank probably three or four bottles of water. Needless to say, I was a bit over-hydrated, but I was afraid they would call while I was in the restroom. So after debating for about 25 minutes, realizing that each passing minute my chances of being called were higher, I brought the cordless phone into the bathroom with me, hoping they wouldn't call mid-pee. They didn't.
Finally, after what seemed like forever, they called and explained to me that I would hear the segments prior to my game, and as soon as Peter Sagel says, "Hi, you're on Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!" I'm live and need to say my name and where I'm from. "If you win, I'll give you a call on Monday to talk about your prize. Good luck!" I sat in my parents' kitchen listening to Peter and the celebrity guests, including Brian Babylon, Amy Dickinson, and Adam Felber, talk for about 5 or 6 minutes. (Some of the discussions appeared on the episode the following week) And then, there comes this magical moment where the voices you hear week after week on the radio, and you have been listening to live for about 5 minutes switch from talking to each other to talking directly to you.
So, Peter talks to me a bit about Peoria and the Asian carp problem we have, then he asks me what I do. I told him I worked at Caterpillar. The guests made a few jokes about Cat. Brian Babylon made a joke about picking up a date in a Caterpillar tractor, and I followed his joke with something along the lines of, "Hey baby, check out the hydraulics on my excavator." Awkward laughter. Thank God the good people of NPR know how to edit out lame jokes, because this did not appear on the radio.
Then Carl started in with the limericks. I got the first one right, no problem. But then I was cocky. When the second limerick was read, I completely went blank. I don't mean that I couldn't get it; I mean I had absolutely no idea what Carl had said. I had him read it again, and he might as well have been speaking Arabic. So I gave up on that one, hoping to redeem myself on the third. Luckily I did! Right after Carl told me I won the prize, they hung up, and my moment in the spotlight was over. Listen to my segment below.
I listened to the show when it aired on Saturday morning, and I was thrilled that they edited out my bad joke. Then on Monday afternoon, Emily Ecton called me again to tell me about my prize. She said, "I'll mail you a CD so that you always have the recording. So, send me an email with what you want him to say. It's pretty much up to you. Carl's a good sport." Not only do I get Carl's voice, but I get to tell him what to say? I contemplated for a few days what I would have him say. My ideas ran the gamut from a personalized limerick to Dr. Dre lyrics. After going back and forth, I sent off my email and waited. On Friday, January 18, the CD came, and needless to say, I was happy with my choice. Listen to my voice mail below.
Now that this experience is over, I have decided I would like to complete the NPR triumvirate. Write a story or be interviewed for This American Life, and call into Car Talk before Click and Clack retire. Wish me luck.
